The Windfall

Script and Stills

© 1998 Borehamwood Camcorder Club

Thanks to

John Randall for the loan of his Rolls Royce

Kay and John at The Wellington

Watch the video (hosted by YouTube)

Cast and Crew

Technical Details

Scene 1
	Bernie and Roger sitting on a park bench by a lake. Fred comes along. They see him and wave to him.
Bernie	Hello Fred.
Fred	Hello lads.
	Fred sits down on the bench next to them.
Bernie	(to Fred) Been anywhere nice?
Fred	(pulling his ticket out of his pocket and showing it to them) Only to get my Lottery ticket.
	Bernie looks at it and nods. Pause.
Roger	(his face shows that this question has just occurred to him) Ever thought what you'd do if you won the Lottery, Fred?
	From "and then buy a new car," we fade into a little sequence which represents Fred's fantasy. Fred continues to talk in voice-over. Soft focus or a vignette effect would be good for these shots. Maybe film this bit on VHS ;-) Fred and his butler both look unrealistically happy. Start with a close up of the radiator of the Rolls Royce - it's a very distinctive design, and most viewers should recognise it. Zoom out to show Fred getting into the car, assisted by his butler. The butler bows to Fred and closes the door. The car pulls out of the drive and drives along the road a little way.
Fred	(thinking) Well, I'd get someone to sort out all my aches and pains... (thinking a bit more) and then I'd buy a new car and a house... nothing too big, mind - a nice little house, with a bit of ivy on the front. And I'd have a butler to look after absolutely everything, and a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce, to take me down the bookie's. (Fade back to Fred on the bench about here.) And I'd live a real life of luxury.
Bernie	Very nice. (turning to Roger) What would you do with all that cash, Roger? You must've thought about it.
Roger	Well, I'd look after my family and then go on a world cruise.
Fred	(remembering) You were a sailor before you retired, weren't you?
Roger	(smirks) Yeah, it'll be nice to see someone else doing all the hard work for a change.
Fred	What about you, Bernie?
Bernie	Well, as you know, I've lived alone for quite a while. When people hear I've come into a lot of cash, I'll soon have a few friends to keep me company.
	Roger nods, a cynical look on his face. Fred also nods, but his expression is more "nudge nudge wink wink."
Bernie	(looking from one to the other, noting their reactions) After I'd taken care of all my immediate needs, I'd go down to the undertaker and sort out all the arrangements for my funeral. (pause) D'you know what I'm going to have carved on my tombstone?
	Roger and Fred shake their heads.
Fred	Tell us.
Bernie	(proudly) "I made it good, without a hitch. That lottery ticket made me rich."
Roger	(considering it thoughtfully) Not exactly Shakespeare, it must be said.
Fred	But perfectly true.
	Roger nods, a little reluctantly. Fred looks at his watch.
Fred	(surprised) Gosh, is that the time? I must be going.
	He stands up.
Bernie	Let us know when you win the Lottery, then, Fred.
Roger	Yeah, we'll help you spend it.
Fred	(smirks) Cheerio.
	Fred waves to them and heads off in the direction he was originally walking. Roger and Bernie wave goodbye to him.
Scene 2	(as written)
	Fred's living room. There is a sofa or an armchair facing the TV. Next to this is a small table or some other convenient flat surface with (amongst other things) a pen and the remote control for the TV on it. If Fred's phone is in this room, rather than in the hall, it should be positioned such that he can't easily see the TV when he's using it.
	No-one is in the room. The TV is switched on, showing the start of the Lottery draw. Fred enters, a cup of tea in one hand, his ticket in the other. He puts the cup down on the table and sits down. He takes a sip from the cup, puts it down again, and picks up the pen. At this point, the programme's guest pulls the lever on the Lottery machine to start the balls dropping. The first number drops out. Fred looks at his ticket and looks pleasantly surprised. He's got this number. Cutaway of him ticking it off. The second number drops. Fred looks more happy: this number is also on his ticket. Cutaway?
	Just after Fred has ticked off the second number, the phone rings. He scowls. He does not get up to answer it. The third number drops. This too is on Fred's ticket. Again, he looks pleased, but his pleasure is marred by the continued noise from the phone. Before the fourth number drops, he picks up the remote control and mutes the sound from the TV. (This saves us the trouble of having the TV soundtrack continue in the background of this next sequence. I suppose we could audio dub the whole TV soundtrack... He only needs to mute the TV if the phone is in the same room. If he goes out into the hall, it's plausible that you wouldn't hear the TV from there.) He puts down his ticket, get up, and walks over to the phone. He picks it up. We do not hear the voice of the person at the other end. This saves us the trouble of finding someone to play the salesperson, gets around certain (ahem) technical difficulties, and also lets the audience assume the things we're not stating. With any luck they'll assume wrongly.)
Fred	(petulant and irritated throughout) Hello? (pause) No, this is not a convenient time. (pause) No, I don't want any double-glazing or whatever tat you're selling, thank you very much. (pause) What makes you think I care? It's your own stupid fault if you're behind on your quota. (thinking of another reason to be annoyed at the intrusion) Do you realise what time it is? I'm trying to check my Lottery numbers here, if you don't mind. (pause. Then he takes the phone away from his ear and looks at it, startled. The salesperson has just said something extremely rude and hung up.) And the same to you, madam! (shaking his head, going back into the living room if necessary) I don't know - she didn't listen to a word I said. (He looks at the TV.) And look at that - she's made me miss the other numbers!
Scene 2	(as filmed)
	The scene as filmed follows the script until Fred is interrupted. Fraser felt that since Fred knows he has at least three winning numbers, he wouldn't get up to answer the phone. He would, however, get up if someone came to the door.
	The doorbell rings. Fred goes to the hallway and opens the front door. The caller is a cable TV salesman, very pushy and in-your-face.
Salesman	Good evening, sir, I'm from the local cable TV company and we're just in your area offering local residents the chance to sign up. If I could just give you this leaflet about our services - (he hands over a leaflet, which Fred accepts, perplexed) - we're offering you the chance to sign up to a hundred and forty-seven million channels of pure digital television, absolutely guaranteed no repeats -
Fred	(recovering enough from his confusion to interrupt) Do you know what time it is? I'm trying to check my lottery numbers. (waves his ticket)
Salesman	(unsure of the relevance of this fact to his mission) Yes sir, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get one hundred and forty-seven million channels of -
Fred	(beginning to close the door) Yeah, well, I'm not really interested.
Salesman	(waving another leaflet as the door is closing) And if you sign up now, sir, you can enter for our free £3,000 prize draw. It's free and it's a prize draw, sir -
Fred	(The leaflet is caught in the door as he says this) No - thank you - bye!
	Fred returns to the living room and peers at the TV. The lottery draw has finished, of course.
Scene 3
	As written, this scene takes place in the park. Fraser moved it to a nearby pub.
	Another day. Roger and Bernie are sitting on the same bench as before. Fred comes walking along, slowly and proudly, as if he owns the bench, the road, and quite possibly Bernie and Roger as well. He is dressed more smartly than the previous scene with Roger and Bernie, and is swinging a briefcase.
Fred	(brightly) Hello chaps!
Roger	Hello Fred. I see you didn't win the Lottery, then.
Fred	(smug, just a little glad of the chance to prove Roger wrong) Ah, that's where you're wrong...
	Roger and Bernie look at Fred, expectantly.
Fred	That big starry hand came down out of sky and pointed at me (imitating the adverts, he raises his free arm over his head and then points his index finger downwards, his hand just above head height) and a big deep voice said: (tries to deepen his voice) "It's you." (He keeps his hand in this position for his next line.)
	Roger's and Bernie's expressions change to astonishment.
Fred	(magnanimously) And I'm going to share it all with... (he moves his free hand back and forth to point at each of them in turn) you. (Finally he lowers his arm.)
	Roger and Bernie turn to look at one another, broad grins on their faces.
Fred	(good-naturedly) Well don't just sit there admiring each other. (Motioning that he wants to sit on the bench between them.) We rich men don't like to be kept waiting, you know.
	They move apart. Fred sits down and puts his briefcase on his lap. Their eyes are fixed on the briefcase. He flips open one clasp and then the other, teasing them. He lifts the lid fractionally, and then lowers it again, but does not close the clasps. Smiling, he looks at Bernie and Roger in turn.
Fred	Are you ready for this, lads?
Bernie	(a little startled) Uh, yes.
Roger	(already tiring of Fred's tricks) Just get on with it, Fred.
Fred	Don't say I didn't warn you. (pause) Ready?
	Bernie and Roger nod, but Fred pays no attention to their reaction. They look at the briefcase again.
Fred	Here goes, then. One... two... (forcefully) three! (As he says "three!" he throws open the lid of the briefcase. Careful it doesn't fly off his lap!)
	Reaction shots of Bernie and Roger as they realise that the briefcase contains only a single new, crisp £10 note. Once we've milked those shots for all they're worth, then we show the contents of the briefcase.
	Fred lifts the £10 note out of the briefcase, holding it carefully between the thumb and index finger of each hand. Bernie and Roger stare at it, unable to believe their eyes.
Fred	(quoting Bernie, with only a little sarcasm) "I made it good without a hitch. That lottery ticket made me rich." (He raises the note to his lips and kisses it loudly. Laughs a little. Slapping Bernie on the back:) That was a good one, that, wasn't it? (Laughs again.)
	As Roger is saying his line, Fred puts the note back in the briefcase and closes the clasps.
Roger	(still a bit lost for words, unsure of whether to be angry or just go along with Fred's little joke) You said you'd won the lottery.
Fred	(turning to him, chuckling) Yeah, but I never said how much, did I?
	The expression on Roger's face shows that he is beginning to feel that anger would be a more appropriate response. Fred stands up and turns to face both Roger and Bernie.
Fred	(friendly) Come on - let's go down the Black Lion and I'll buy you both a pint. (pause. Bright idea:) If you chip in a few bob yourselves, there might even be enough left for a packet of crisps.
	Since the characters were already in a pub when we were filming, we changed the last line to: "Let's go down the bookies - perhaps we'll get better luck there." They leave the pub and get into a Reliant Robin which starts after a few attempts, and they drive off into the distance. (For non-Britons, the Reliant Robin is a three-wheeled car with a body made mainly of fibreglass. It looks even funnier than it sounds.)
	The End